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Let's not sugarcoat it: ing can be an incredibly vulnerable, awkward, and intimate sex position.
Still, some sexperts say the oral sex position perks are too often overlooked. It's totally mutual. Undeniably H-O-T. 69 style sex with me folks with vulvas have a hard time relaxing when receiving oral sex, adds Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy emporium Babeland.
So, "69ing can be a great way to take off some of the pressure so that you can and finally melt into the pleasure of oral play. Want more intel on the 69 sex position? Below, three top-notch sex educators explain what the 69 position really is, how to make it better, and how to do it safely. Can't see it? Think of the circle of each as the head. So, in this dual-oral position, your bodies are flipped so that your he are facing each other's genitals.
How you get into this position depends on each person's height, genitals, flexibility, strength, and body shapes. However, the classic 69 sex position is still the most common iteration, says Queen. Here's what that looks like IRL "Have your partner lie straight down on their back, then crawl on top of them in the opposite direction, belly-down," says Finn. Your eyes and tongue should be lined up with their genitals, and theirs with yours.
If height variation is an issue, Queen suggests making sure the bigger or taller partner is on the bottom for best comfortability. Incorporating a sex pillow is another option more on that below. For starters, know this: Vaginas smell, taste, and look like vaginas, not flowers. Many people feel self-conscious about this, but just let that go, says Finn. Sure, there are a few reasons your vagina might smell offbut face it, you know when your vagina's not its usual self, so chances are your vagina is perfectly normal and lickable. If 69 style sex with me feeling self-conscious about it, here's a tip: Before jumping into the 69 sex position, shower or wipe down the outside only!
Because, sure, "it is polite to clean-up before oral pay—noses, and faces, and mouths are going to be all up in there," says Finn. Instead, use a fragrance-free soap and wash the outside of your box. Oral sex is great in the 69 sex position because it's an opportunity for your clitoris to get the attention and praise it deserves. But there are so many other feel-good treasures between your legs. The labia and mons pubis can experience pleasure with some pressure and stimulation, according to Finn.
So, if you're giving oral to someone with a vulva she says, "It's okay if your nose is pressed to their bits — that pressure will probably feel good. Likewise, if your partner has a penis, "You don't have to go right for the penis, you can also fondle or lick the perineum, balls, and inner thigh," says Finn. In the classic 69 sex position the partner on top may need both arms to support their body, but if your hands are available use them.
Not only will this give you a breather literallyit'll also feel good. For a fun 69 sex position variation, you might try fingering them as you lick your partner if they have a vagina and enjoy penetration. Her suggestion?
Try stimulating their G-spot — the spongy, textured patch along the front vaginal wall— with a come hither motion as you work them with your mouth. If your partner has a penis, grab the base of it with your hand to control how deep it's able to go in your throat. Or, try squirting some lube into your palm and giving them a handy while licking and sucking their balls. Vibratorssex pillows, metal wands, dildos, kegel balls, anal be 69 style sex with me, and butt plugs, "there's no limit to the 'extras' you can incorporate into the 69 sex position to make it even more pleasurable," says Queen.
During the 69 sex position and really any oral sex position you want to pay pretty close attention to how your head is positioned and how much weight is on it to avoid injury, she says. Butt plugstongues, and fingers are all fair game when ing, so long as your partner gives their consent. If you get the green light, and the height match-up allows it, tease the nerve-dense ring around your partner's anus with your tongue. In general, "I don't recommend going from the butt hole back to the vulva because you don't want to move bacteria from butt back to the vulva, which could increase the risk of UTI and yeast infections," says Finn.
Have more rimming Qs? Check out this guide to anal sex. Another option: Use your fingers or an anal toy during the 69 sex position. Fingers and anal be are best if your partner enjoys the sensation of an in-and-out motion.
Prostate massagers 69 style sex with me best if your partner is interested and has a penis. Butt plugs are best if your partner enjoys a full sensation. A cute little plug makes that a non-issue. If the classic 69 sex position isn't working for you, or you want to switch it up, give these three sex position variations a whirl. If you're either turned off or triggered by being semi-suffocated by your parter's bits, Struyk recommends this iteration. Plus, unlike the OG 69 position, nobody has to do neck sit-ups or cat-cow for it to feel good. How well this standing 69 sex position works will depend on the height of the bed and the partner who is doing the standing, says Finn.
This less common, but easy-to-get-into 69 sex position variation requires one partner to lie on their back on the bed with their head over the edge of the mattress, while the other partner stands on the floor above them, straddling their mouth. Because of the vulnerability of the lying partner's position, make sure you establish a non-verbal safe word like two taps on the outer thigh or raising a hand so that if the bottom partner needs a breather they can communicate it, suggests Queen.
Sure, you might not be able to get pregnant from ing, but STIs can be transmitted through oral se x. And unfortunately, orally transmitted infections rarely cause more than a sore throat and most healthcare providers don't test for them unless you specifically request it. When in doubt, protection is always your means of prevention. By Gabrielle Kassel Updated January 22, Each product we feature has been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team.
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69 Position, What is 69 Sex Position, Pros & Cons