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You are feeling down, thinking that the problems you currently have will be fixed by a girlfriend. And I know how you feel. But before you jump into it, hear me out for a couple of minutes. In fact, here are 10 reasons you need to consider first before going into any relationship and getting a girlfriend. Even though you might be nodding your head in disagreement right now, you will be grateful for this advice in the future.
Because it will prevent you from getting a girlfriend for the wrong reasons. And a relationship on shaky foundations is doomed to fail. So just read these 10 reasons you need to consider before getting a girlfriend first, and then decide if you actually need a girlfriend right now.
Here we go. This is something you should be practicing for every important aspect of your life. And getting a girlfriend is definitely one of them. So what does this mean? Because that usually means that your judgment is clouded by your current emotional state. And at low moments in your life, you are feeling kind of shitty. In getting a girlfriend situation, this would be a time when you are a dance floor at some party and everyone has a girl to dance to except you. At that moment, you feel alone or you feel rage, embarrassment, anger, frustration and simply not very good.
Any decision you make at that moment is a byproduct of your current crappy emotional state- and by that, you make sure that the decision is not something you really want. It is simply a reaction. It maybe sounds ridiculous to you right now, but these simple techniques are powerful beyond imagination.
All you need to do is act upon them. Getting a girlfriend is a quiet question to answer to. You simply say yes or no. Ok, I am getting a bit more into the details than I should but you get the point. But she needs to be able to understand you. For you to know what she will be, you need to know what you want. And for you to know what you want, you need to explore yourself.
To explore yourself, you need to become self-aware of who you are, what you want to become, what are your dreams and visions for the future, how you imagine your perfect world and in that, where does a girlfriend fit in. These are all tough questions that you need to answer, but they rewarding. And Do you actually want a girlfriend you know who you are and what you want to do in life, you can easily articulate to yourself do you want a girlfriend in your life and if you do, what kind of a girlfriend.
Even though most of the civilized world lives freely, we are still influenced by our culture, parents, grandparents and the environment we are a part of. There is no question about it. But if you are getting a girlfriend only to please someone out there or satisfy a cultural norm, then please stop. You are doing yourself and your girlfriend a disservice and it will just lead to a crappy relationship which will either end up as a breakup or worse — end up as a crappy marriage.
There is a big difference in these two. Loneliness is the unavailability of people to communicate with on any level. Aloneness, however, is the unavailability of someone to communicate with at your level of awareness. Most guys are trying to solve aloneness by applying solutions for loneliness. You know those guys who just from one girlfriend to another, always having someone by their side by never having them stick. Well, that is the case of someone trying to solve aloneness or their inability to find someone who can understand them by using solutions that solve loneliness or simply having someone else there.
And in this case, no one is sometimes better than someone. That is the time you need to use to explore yourself and figure out why you feel like that. When you solve the problem of loneliness, then you will be free to find a real connection, someone who can understand you. And then, and only then, will be the right time to find a girlfriend. Getting a girlfriend to just get a girlfriend is a problem itself. The priority 1 in your life should never be your girlfriend. And that is happiness and joy. But the thing is that the only place you will find true happiness and joy in your life is in you.
When you figure out what you want to do, that will be your guiding star in life and you will pursue it. And that will be your priority in life. When you just want a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend, you will get lost on your way. That always le to break-ups and misery in general. Because you longer have any idea who you actually are. But by Do you actually want a girlfriend your purpose in check and pursuing it as a priority in life, you will find a great girlfriend which fits into that kind of lifestyle.
By the research of many positive psychologists like Martin Seligman and Daniel Gilbert, we are totally delusional when it comes to thinking what will make us happy. So the best thing is to actually go out there and see what you like. You have nothing to compare it with. It took me years to figure out what I really want in a girlfriend and that was mostly figuring out what do I really want.
You need to explore yourself with other people to figure out what you really want so maybe getting a girlfriend right now is not the best move. You should try out casual relationships with girls to see what you like and dislike so that you actually know what you are interested in.
Of course that I love myself. One person is usually a victim and the other one is a savior. One person needs to put all the blame on themselves to feel worthy of love while the other constantly needs to save someone to feel worthy of love. You, my friend, need to flirt with a rebound. A good old one-night stand. No matter who broke it up, there are still so many unresolved issues and residual emotions lying around. So first of all, it would be unfair to any other girl if you just jumped with her in a new relationship.
Taking that into consideration, you just need some alone and fun time! And there is nothing wrong in having one-night stands, just make something else a habit. So ask yourself if you actually want and need a girlfriend right now, or would a rebound and a one-night stand do the trick? This is for you workaholics out there myself included. Committing to a girlfriend means finding the time to actually be in a relationship.
If you are used to thinking only about your plans for summer and vacations, having free time to do this and that, randomly exploring things — well that needs to be considered now. If you want to commit to a girlfriend, you need to realize that your time now needs to be shared with your girlfriend.
And if you are the one who is a master time manager or just enjoy your freedom way too much as I doyou need to re-read the list above. Because if you are sacrificing your time and freedom, then you need to be sure that this girl is the right kind of girlfriend. This is the last thing on our list because all of the above reasons are prerequisites for this one.
At the end of the day, having a girlfriend means sharing your life with someone else. Not just the good things, but the bad things as well. You are sharing everything you are with someone else and it feels liberating and scary at the same time.
So they hide in short, meaningless relationships and avoid any kind of deep connection. And to be honest with you, you will probably never be ready for something like this. There will always be a hint of doubt no matter how great your girlfriend is. But the trick here is to think and go through the fear.
If you are willing to share everything you are with someone else and stick around, then you should get a girlfriend. But to come here takes so much work and unfortunately, that work needs to be done alone. We have been through a lot in this article. We have covered 10 reasons you need to consider before getting a girlfriend. The 10 reasons are:. Are you making a decision from a high point, not a low point? Do you know what you seek?
Are you taking in social pressure from friends and family? Are you suffering from loneliness or aloneness? Did you try some fish in the sea? Do you love yourself? Do you need a girlfriend or a rebound? Are you ready to commit to one? Do you actually want to share your life with someone?
I believe you managed to get your answer in these reasons and that it will help you make the best decision. News analysis on Manly App coverage Did you hear the buzz? For example, if you are a guy […]. Table of Contents The good, bad, and ugly on the Scorpio man1. He can sense your feelings and thoughts3. Super logical to a fault4. The men […]. Buying into toxic masculinity2. Relying on alcohol has a social lubricant3. Clamming up4.
Playing negative mental tapes5. Unchecked body image issues6. Denying mental health issues7. Copyright Guy Counseling. All Rights Reserved. See Disclaimer. Share this:. Dating Relationships Self-Esteem. About Bruno Boksic 20 Articles. Bruno Boksic writes about men's interest topics, including self-improvement, dating, relationships, productivity and success. His goal is to help readers just like you to become the best version of themselves. Be sure to follow Bruno on Facebook. Website Facebook. Next What Makes a Car Manly? Men's Blog. November 24, John D.Do you actually want a girlfriend
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